Want To Know How To Write A Really Bad Sales Letter?
by Joe Fuller
There are so many bad sales letters around, I thought I may as well help you write another one.
This won’t take long.
First, think of the most tedious headline you can. Make it very, very long so it might send your reader to sleep. Don’t bother with any interesting words that might suggest actions to take. Instead, suggest total lack of interest by you and the reader.
Second, you have a genius, world shaking product, never seen before, so tell them how great it is for you, your business and your life. Ignore the reader. Suggest the reader will never make it to your level, as you list all your great qualities as an online business person.
Third, make sure you write extremely long and boring sections of your letter. Tell them, at great length, all about how totally uninteresting your offer is. Really, you have to let them know that the offer is virtually useless for most people.
Fourth, forget about offering a guarantee. Make it clear your offer is so bad, it really shouldn’t have a guarantee.
Fifth, never include a picture or image of yourself, your business or any products. This only encourages people to maybe be interested in what you have to offer.
Sixth, never give a way to contact you.
Seventh, just in case someone is interested in buying your offer, make it as difficult as you can for them to do so. For example, have a 20 step (which sometimes doesn’t work) checkout system or they could send you a check and get the offer in about 2 to 3 months if all goes well.
This is how to do it – enjoy yourself writing the worst sales letter on the internet.